162:

I give you a hamburger.

I start screaming only to have special sauce fly from my lips. Across the road a father of three slowly begins to tumble down a staircase. The staircase is made of ennui. The stairs are made of repeated meaningless experiences. The experiences are made of ground beef. Across the road a father of three gives you a hamburger.

My eye twitches involuntarily as I reach out for his hamburger. The stairs stretch into yarn as gravity begins to weep silently. You covet gravity, but do not respond. As you give me a hamburger, three children look mournfully upon the staircase. Within every tomato, a thousand years. I try to refuse the hamburger, knowing the price. Endless figures stare from the expansion of a normal number. The beef is going cold. Resolute but repentant, I take a bite of the hamburger.

You realize that the hamburger is too perfect to be real. It is the idea of a hamburger, and there is only one observer. You are a dream and the burger is the dreamer. You awaken and try to blink the sleep from your pickles. A man tumbles down the staircase towards you. I hand you to the youngest of his children, and begin to weep. Lingrush's eye twitches involuntarily.

As your teeth pierce the bun, they find inside another hamburger. Biting through its bun, you discover another. Your teeth progress through an infinite number of buns, searching fruitlessly for the beef and produce. You try to stop, and fail. I give you a hamburger, and within it I give you the universe. The stars are a thousand sesame seeds, and every seed is a hamburger. As I take a second bite, life is born, and a million miles away a child's tear falls upon a stair of ennui. The hamburger is not mocked. As if in response, a distant mooing wakens the dawn of 400 billion suns. I try to return the burger, but you are the universe. The universe is hungry, and I am its mouth.

Each seed is the universe, and every planet a hamburger. Across 400 billion planets, the sun rises in unison. The universe is hungry. The mouth forms words. You ask for a hamburger.

I give you a hamburger.

Latest Entry:

Andrew Hussie's Output

Posted by Tom on the 15th of August, 2014, at 8:16 pm.

dem outliers

Also available as a pdf.

Update: it appears that he follows an exponential distribution.

Code and data (scraped manually from his site, obviously) is on gist.github.com.

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